Translation - Analects 2.6 Meng Wubo asked about being filial.

孟武伯問孝。子曰：「父母唯其疾之憂。」

Mèng Wǔbó wèn xiào.  Zǐ yuē: "Fù mǔ wéi qí jí zhī yōu."

Meng Wubo asked about being filial. The Master said: "Parents, because of the sickness of their children, grieve.

Meng Wubo asked about being filial. The Master said: "Parents grieve when their children are ill."

Where Meng Wubo is asking for proscriptive advice about how to be filial, or philosophical insight into the nature of being filial, Confucius' response provides neither. Confucius' answer (if it can be called that) appears oblique at first, a non-answer to a straightforward question. But Confucius' answer actually provides a great deal of information. We should remember that Confucius challenges his students to use one side of the square to find the other three. Given this approach, we can find at least two implied proscriptions for filial behavior.

The primary implication is that children should do their utmost to avoid causing their parents worry or concern. Children (according to the Confucian program) should study the rites, pursue learning, and generally practice the skills necessary to stand upright in adult society.

The second implication is less direct. Because parents worry when their children are ill, it implies parents should do their utmost to ensure their children well-raised and cared for. This worry in the parents is the reciprocal part of the filial relationship: because parents care for their children, the children desire to care for their parents. The duty is not externally imposed by society onto the child; rather, the duty is a manifestation of the emotional relationship between parent and child.

This reciprocal relationship between parent and child plays an important role in the first implication; when parents engage their children and assist their children in learning, then children experience learning as a process of successfully interacting in the world along with their parents - as opposed to an externally imposed system with little relation to their own happiness. When learning occurs as a part of interacting in the world, this develops a love of learning and the joy of putting things into practice (as suggested by Analects 1.1).

As an aside, the kind of learning suggested here can be seen clearly in Dewey's model of education: where play and learning are relevant because the knowledge and guidance provides a means to direct interest towards an environment.

See the below on challenging the assumptions inherent in modern education (assumptions Dewey argued against in 1916's Democracy and Education).

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/05/11/603315432/the-best-mothers-day-gift-get-mom-out-of-the-box